I have no pat answers or quick fixes for you. Marriage is hard. Fibromyalgia is hard. Put the two together and you get a double whammy of TOUGH stuff.
SO, my hubby is a MANLY man, you know the type? The non-emotional, grunt for a response, hang out in his man-cave type of guy. I cry crocodile tears and he just looks at me in fear with no idea what to do. Nothing seems to faze him. He has no idea who to SHOW that he cares. Does he cry when he’s sad or giggle and laugh out loud when he’s really happy? umm, NO. The most I usually get from him is a grin. Sometimes he laughs out loud, but even then, it’s the airy, inaudible kind of laugh out loud 😀
I tell you these things because they are things that used to drive me NUTS about him, and not in a good way 😛
Does it still make me crazy sometimes? you bet it does! But I don’t hang onto those feelings, because for ME, it’s usually the fibro crazies as I call them. I get these emotional crazies and FEEL things for NO reason, and THEN my brain gives me a reason as I look around trying to figure out what has made me cry big crocodile tears. Have you ever noticed this happening to you? This happens to me, because my fibro is seriously messing with my emotions, for NO other reason then that.
And so, there I sit at the table crying these tears that freak guys out, and my sweet hubby says to me, ‘are you ok?’ and I remind him that it’s surely not his fault that I am feeling fibro crazy. And he usually responds with his heart warming words, “Ya, but I probably did something to make it worse.”
AWWWW! Ok, seriously, what girl wouldn’t just want to HUG a guy like that?!
It has not always been thus.
A HUUUUUGE step forward in our marriage is when I started to realize that the feelings I had were just that- FEELINGS. Not even based on enough fact to make me feel that way. When I take the blame, and be gracious, my husband TOTALLY surprises me with his love and support EVERY SINGLE TIME. Give it a try and see how your hubby responds, you might be shocked!!
Being married takes work, even for healthy people! for sick people, it definitely feels like impossible work. Let me re-assure you, it is NOT impossible. But it DOES take work. And I know that is the last thing we want more of when we are already so exhausted. But let me tell you, THIS – marriage, is WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!!!
ONE DAY, you will be WELL and able to figure this all out without using so much energy!
I was told that big decisions, life changing decisions should never be made when you’re sick or tired. NOW because of the Guaifenesin Protocol, you have a light at the end of the tunnel: one day you will not be sick and tired! YES!
Click to read more on: my marriage and how we have grown.